I feel like I have come out of the fog of March. I was happier on Hugo’s birthday than I had anticipated. I guess that having social events with both sets of grandparents helped to keep me distracted.
As I was getting ready in the morning I was conscious that exactly a year before I was being prepared for a major operation. The saddest memory of Hugo’s birth day is that neither Andrew or I were the first people to meet him or were able to find out first hand that we had a son. Other people held him and knew that we had made a boy before we did. Of course he still seems very attached to us even though we didn’t meet him first, luckily.
In fact I found out that I had a son by spotting the blue name card on his crib as I was wheeled toward him on my bed. Andrew did introduce me to Hugo and I was able to touch him through the portholes in the crib.
Also not being able to hold my newborn baby on his birth day was sad but that was something that I was more prepared for as I knew that he wouldn’t be stable enough at 33+4 weeks. Holding him the next day was magical and even more special that he was stable enough to have no breathing assistance and attempt to breastfeed.
The hardest part of this March was the lead up to his birthday where I was constantly aware of the timing of the days compared to my hospital stay last year. The ultrasound that confirmed the placenta previa, the 6am bleed and hospital admission, the visits from Andrew and Eva, the dinner eaten sat next to window of the hospital room when I graduated from strict bed rest, the search for some inspirational verses and words to focus on, the Thai takeaway that Andrew and I shared and the phone calls from family and friends concerned about this twist of events.
The night before Hugo was delivered was long and tiring, possibly more so for Andrew who sat and watched the monitors and me to see that the contractions and bleeding weren’t slowing and knowing that at daybreak we were going to meet our baby. The midwife looking after us on delivery suite was fantastic sneaking me a champagne glass filled with ice chips once an hour when she came to do her observations.
Of course I am grateful that Hugo arrived safe and healthy at 33 weeks and 4 days. I just hoped to get past 32 weeks and we did that.
Hugo’s First Birthday has been and we look forward to a year of fun ahead as he learns all there is that a one-year-old needs to know.